Amit Kunnath

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The Intruder’s Ring: A Short Story

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarity between real events or people is entirely coincidental. The portrayal of a particular action or belief does not imply the writer’s endorsement of said action or belief.

Why was my back door left open? I make it a point to lock all of my doors and windows prior to leaving the house, and yet here my back door was, having been left open.

My first thought, naturally, was that someone had stolen my belongings. After examining my dwelling, however, I had concluded that no such thing had occurred.

But as Edmond Locard said many years ago, every contact leaves a trace. While none of my possessions had been taken, something had been left behind – thus, I concluded that my house had been unlawfully entered into.

Upon my kitchen table, which was just ahead of my back door, there was a shiny little ring, silver in colour, and with a curious little diamond affixed to itself. It seemed genuine, and it looked rather expensive. I would assume that it was worth at least six thousand dollars at purchase, probably about four years ago.

I could tell that it had been worn regularly, but also that it had been very well looked after. The person whose finger had housed this ring must have been incredibly diligent, someone who valued the appearance of wealth and took great care of her material possessions. Her, because this ring was of a decidedly feminine nature. A man could have worn it, but I dismissed this proposition as unlikely.

It was placed there inconspicuously; most people would not have noticed it. But I have a keen eye for detail, and I saw it the very moment that I had entered into my home. This suggested to me that whomever the intruder was, she knew me well. She knew that no matter how obscure her placement of the ring was, I would find it.

I did not notice any other traces of entry. If I didn’t notice, it’s fair to say that there was nothing else that the intruder had left behind.

Thus, one could reasonably assume that the ring was left behind deliberately.

Given how expensive it was, I found it difficult to believe that the ring’s owner was not grieving her loss. She must surely be missing the ring, for anyone vain enough to spend six thousand on a tiny piece of diamond would be hopelessly addicted to the thing.

Unless it was an engagement or a wedding ring purchased for her. Perhaps it was from someone whom she is no longer with. In such a circumstance, it is not at all unlikely that she did not value the jewellery in the slightest – at least, not anymore. Look how well she had taken care of it before leaving it at my house! Indeed, I would go so far as to say that she hated the ring now, for it reminded her of her painful past with a fiancé or a husband whom she no longer loved.

But I still ask the question: why did she break into my home, and leave behind the ring? Who am I to her?

Perhaps I should discuss the matter with my own ex-wife, whom I left behind many years ago. Perhaps she’d understand why someone would do such a thing.

I cannot say that my meeting with her wasn’t awkward. We had not spoken since our divorce, and it was rather improper of me to reach out to her for the first time in years for the purpose of asking for a favour.

Nonetheless, she was surprisingly open to answering my questions. I had described the whole situation to her, and she seemed more terrified than amused, although she seemed more amused than interested.

I found the situation endlessly fascinating. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of psychological state a person would be in so as to break into another’s home and leave behind what is likely to be a wedding or engagement ring.

And why my home? And how did she know me so well? All questions that I was anxious to answer.

My ex-wife believed that the woman who had broken into my house was angry at her partner for leaving her, and had left behind the ring because she believed that I could save her. While this was a fascinating hypothesis, it seemed so incredibly unlikely. This was nonetheless valuable information. I presume that the reason my ex-wife assumed such a thing was because she herself felt angry at me for leaving her, and she healed by making symbolic gestures to remove me from her life and to introduce herself into another’s life – someone whom she believed would save her.

Perhaps my intruder had been working under a similar, but more obsessive, motivation. I say more obsessive because only an incredibly obsessive person would break into another’s home. In particular, my home. No one dared do such a thing under normal circumstances.

And it was obvious that she had been watching me. Perhaps this was someone whom I knew in person. It is not at all a secret that my attention to detail is superb. She knew this, hence why she left the ring in such an inconspicuous way. And yet, she herself had managed to escape from my sight. But how?

Perhaps I needed to meet with my brother. His fiancé had left him and, shortly thereafter, had confessed that she was in love with me. I remember that her engagement ring was starkly different from the one left on my counter, so it couldn’t have been her. But, to find my intruder, I must understand the motivations of potentially similar people.

My brother himself had deteriorated very quickly following his wedding being called off. When he discovered that his fiancé, whom he referred to as his darling – how foolishly and recklessly he loved her – was infatuated with me, he began to hate me. We had kept in touch, but he had become cold and distant towards me, because he felt that it was my fault that the girl of his dreams had disappeared from his life.

According to my brother, my intruder was someone who was obsessed with me. Someone who had known me – according to him, through someone else. I had caused pain for that someone else by causing pleasure to my intruder, and her obsession developed as a result of her desire for me.

This was nonsensical. My brother was just weaving stories based on his hatred of me. However, this was still helpful. Perhaps it was not the woman who was my intruder, but the man she had left.

Perhaps a discussion with my brother’s ex-fiancé would be in order. Although her beauty enthralled me, I had to reject her offer to marry me, because I am fairly confident that if I had not done so, my brother would have killed me. She spent the majority of our meeting attempting to seduce me with her soft voice, lovely smile, and decadent gaze, and did not seem to care at all that my home had been broken into by an intruder who had left behind an engagement ring.

Although she did not speak of the intruder, the meeting was nevertheless helpful. Just as she was attempting to seduce me, so too was my intruder. That was now certain.

So far, I have come to a variety of curiously rich conclusions about the nature of my intruder. She was a caring but obsessive woman. She had been following me for some time now. She found me intoxicating, and this was her way of seducing me.

She was very clever indeed. She knew that by evading me, she would capture my interest and my attention. She knew that she had inflamed my Ego and that I would want to meet her. I cannot help but admit that she was starting to succeed. I did not know who this woman was, what she looked like, or who her parents were, but I was already starting to fall for her.

I have always been rather unfortunate when it comes to romance. My first crush was a girl in primary school – I believe I was in the sixth grade. I never spoke to her even once; her beauty was terrifying. When I was fifteen, I worked a part-time job at a convenience store after school, and I fell madly in love with a girl who worked the same shift. We used to spend lots of time together, and she was even my first kiss, but she left me rather abruptly and began to date her best friend instead.

I have attempted to court numerous women since then and have even been successful from time to time.

However, my success would always be short-lived. About three years ago, I met a beautiful woman at the local park. At first, she seemed rather uninteresting to me. Although she was gorgeous, her personality was bland, like a blank sheet of paper that one could only write on with white ink.

However, one day, she invited me to her home and told me of her childhood. Another child mercilessly bullied her at school, and therefore she killed him. From that day on, she became supremely interesting to me, and I decided to seriously date her. With every interaction I had with her, I was given the marvellous opportunity to analyse the motivations of a killer – albeit one, it seems to me, who killed in self-defence.

How wonderfully fascinating she was! She was like an onion that one could peel, gradually tearing back layers upon layers of depth and interest to eventually reveal the very core of her Being. However, when one peels an onion using a blunt knife, one cries.

As I examined her, I discovered that her first victim – whom she had killed in self-defence – was not her last. She found murder to be tremendously thrilling, and she confessed to me – while we were walking hand in hand at midnight down a deserted alleyway near a supposedly haunted cemetery – that the dead bodies of all her previous partners were buried in that very cemetery.

I did not convey my fear to her. Instead, I confidently told her I could no longer be in a relationship with her. Strangely enough, she let me live. I remember reading in the next morning’s paper that she had been arrested for her crimes. I wonder how they had detected her, for it was not I who had reported her.

Was she the strange intruder? I think not. She’d still be in prison, so she couldn’t have done it.

But someone was trying to seduce me. That was for certain. I must admit that this feels marvellous. For someone so unlucky in romance as I am, it is a great thrill to know that I have a secret admirer who is so obsessed with me that she has gone to great lengths to enter my home and leave behind a ring for me, just so that I would notice her. How clever she was.

As I sat there pondering these things, a knock came to my door. As I opened, I saw a young woman in uniform, an officer of the police. She was wearing a ring that looked exactly like the one left on my kitchen table. Could she be my secret admirer?

She greeted me and proceeded to inform me that her rings had been stolen. She said that the police had received hundreds of reports in recent months from women who had had their rings stolen from their very own homes. Then, all but one of the rings would be returned within a week of being stolen. She pointed at her own ring and said that rings of that kind would not be returned.

I remembered that the ring was still on my kitchen table. I needed to hide it, lest she think I was the thief. But just before I could, she told me that she had a search warrant for my home. In a state of confusion, I asked her why.

The police had found footage, she said, of my selling rings – silver rings with diamonds – to local jewellers. They had also received reports from a woman that she saw a man matching my profile stealing and returning her rings.

The girl that I worked with when I was fifteen wore that same kind of ring. I don’t know how she acquired it; to my knowledge, her parents were not wealthy, so she must have stolen it.

When she allowed herself to be stolen from me, I felt so incredibly angry at her. I needed to keep at least a piece of her with me still. Everything else, I could surrender; I was more than willing to return the girl to he who had loved her for all those years. But I needed a part of her to stay with me, so I stole her ring.

When questioned by the police, I answered honestly. I told them that an intruder had left behind the ring. Of that I was certain. Why would I go to such great lengths to leave behind a ring I had stolen, only to go on a wild goose chase attempting to figure out who it was that left it there?

But there was one thing that still confused me. Had I really been selling rings to local jewellers? That made no sense! I was certain that they were lying about the footage so that they could extract a confession from me. However, I was speechless when I saw the video with my own eyes.

There I was, clear as day, selling rings to jewellers. But how? I knew I had not stolen any rings from anyone other than my old girlfriend.

Of course! She was trying to win me back; she was the intruder! How did I miss that before?

I recited the entire story to the police, desperately trying to prove my innocence. They informed me that I had only moved to the town a few years ago, and that when I was a teenager, I lived in another part of the country, in a juvenile detention centre. My crime? Stealing.

This was unbelievable. None of this was true. I always lived here.

I told them the name of the convenience store where I worked. They said that no such place existed.

I told them the name of my first girlfriend. No such person existed.

I told them about the news article reporting my second girlfriend’s arrest. No such article existed.

I told them about the cemetery. Didn’t exist.

I told them about my brother. He did exist but was still in jail for murdering his fiancé.

To them, the only thing that was real was that I was stealing rings, returning them back, keeping the silver ones with diamonds on them, and then selling them to local jewellers.

But I am not that illogical! If I were to steal – hypothetically, of course – I would only steal what I wanted, and then keep it. I wouldn’t steal all of the rings, only to return most of them back to the home. That would increase the likelihood of being caught and would be a useless waste of time.

I kept telling them that I didn’t do it.

But all the evidence suggested that I did. I could not remember ever having done it. I could not fathom the idea of such a detail-focused person as myself acting in such a careless way. But the proof that I had done it was there.

Even though I had no recollection of doing any such thing, I had no choice but to believe it. It couldn’t have been true, but it had to be true. I had acted unethically, illogically, emotionally. I had done everything that a person I am not would do.

It couldn’t have been me. And yet it had to have been me. I believed them. I had no choice but to believe them! I acted contrary to my nature and could not even remember it.

But it was true. I had stolen that ring. I could no longer deny it, though I couldn’t remember it.

After all, as Edmond Locard said many years ago, every contact leaves a trace.

Peculiar Roads

When peculiar roads intertwine into rivers

And butterflies land on the shoulders of sinners

When the sky shares its colour with sweet marmalade

And takes on the texture of a frothy milkshake

When butterflies land on the shoulders of sinners

And the oil on the pan so very gently simmers

When hasty decisions capture Life’s bliss

And you wonder What is the Meaning of this?

When the oil on the pan so very gently simmers

And you eat the dead chicken’s delicious livers

When old wooden houses summon you home

And you cannot help but feel so wonderfully alone

When you eat the dead chicken’s delicious livers

And you kill the young hare with an arrow from your quiver

When nourishment for one means loss for another

And you long for the embrace of a long-lost lover

When you kill the young hare with an arrow from your quiver

And a thunderstorm is birthed by a gentle pitter-patter

When rainclouds unite to form marvellous streets

And water provides you with a Life-giving treat

When a thunderstorm is birthed by a gentle pitter-patter

And you forget if you referred to the former or the latter

When into your nose drifts the strong scent of incense

And you see the world through yet another strange lens

When you forget if you referred to the former or the latter

And you need to dispose of someone else’s litter

When the cleanliness and joy of the past start to fade

And for Hope, you are left with no choice but to pray

When you need to dispose of someone else’s litter

And butterflies land on the shoulders of sinners

When strawberry milk is all that you taste

And you finally win the never-ending race

When butterflies land on the shoulders of sinners

And peculiar roads intertwine into rivers

When raindrops transform cavities ’to lakes

And things occur for their own very sake

When peculiar roads intertwine into rivers

And butterflies land on the shoulders of sinners

When the sky shares its colour with sweet marmalade

And takes on the texture of a frothy milkshake

Transactions of Love: A Short Story

This story is fictional. Any resemblances to any real events or people are entirely coincidental.

How utterly frustrating it was! I desired to arrive at the conference before its commencement, for how important a character trait punctuality is. Particularly in my field, it is very much frowned upon to be late; it is a sign of weakness and of poor planning.

How could a person be so absent-minded as to arrive at a conference late?

I could not believe that it happened to me. I don’t drive, because it is a menial task that does not suit a wealthy salesperson like me. I had called for a taxi, but the driver was running late – how foolish of him! and not just a little late, mind you, but twenty minutes late!

The conference was to commence at 4:00 pm, and I had wanted to arrive at 3:00. Instead, I arrived at 3:45.

I know what you’re thinking. I was still early.

Maybe according to you, I was early; maybe according to everyone else, I was early, but to me, I was on time, and being on time is no better than being late.

If anything, it is even worse than being late.

When you are late, you reveal to those around you that you are not worth doing business with.

When you are on time, however, you create the illusion that you are punctual.

Imposter.

How important it is to arrive early! Only then are you a truly punctual person.

And there is nothing more dreadful than those who argue that they have other commitments. It is a privilege to work alongside me. My colleagues who use this excuse deserve not such a great privilege.

Business is more important than pleasure; it is more important than family! Those individuals who value their children more than their vocation ought not to engage in my work; it is so utterly frustrating that I must refer to these as my professional network.

And what of friends? The most dreadful distraction of all, they are. How fun they seem, and how alluring are their invitations to hang out? What an absurd phrase of the English language! What does it even mean to hang out? I do not know, for I have never received an invitation to do the same. How glad I am that this is the case, for if I had had the misfortune of having friends, they would forever distract me from getting work done.

The Chief Executive Officer was attending this conference, hence the importance of my appearing noble and well-mannered. I had never had the privilege of meeting the CEO before; privilege was something that had often eluded me, as evidenced by the utter incompetence of my taxi driver that day.

There was something else that made attending this conference rather important.

Another sales manager, of my same rank, but of a different department, would also be there. I had never spoken to her, but at this conference, I very much wanted to do so.

What was that you just said? Why do I long to talk to someone so desperately, even when I know nothing of them, unless I’m in love with them?

Well, first of all, what a foolish concept is romantic love. I do not subscribe to the belief that any such thing exists. Relationships are economic in their very nature; we make emotional transactions, just as we make financial ones.

Secondly, you are so utterly wrong when you claim that I know nothing of this woman. She is an incredibly skilled sales manager – in fact, she is just as good as me. This is not an easy achievement; I have remained the best sales manager of the company for the past ten years.

She is the first colleague I have ever come across who poses a real threat to me.

And there you go: that’s why I need to talk to her. What if the CEO or the General Manager prefers her over me? That would be disastrous! I could miss out on promotions, pay rises, and other such opportunities.

So, no, I was not in love with my rival. Please refrain from making such absurd claims in future.

When I arrived at the conference, no-one seemed to be particularly frustrated by my lateness. Poor fools, the lot of them. How could they ignore my lack of punctuality? How could they disregard how utterly late I was? I suppose that they were just like you, thinking that being on-time is not at all a bad thing.

Fools.

Suddenly, I heard a sharp shrilly voice behind me: “How late you are!”

As I turned around, I saw that it was the foolish woman who was just as good at her job as I.

How irritating!

I looked at her, attempting to appear not at all frustrated at her dreadful presence. She was squinting at me, as though she were angry. Though she was just a young woman – in her early twenties – she had wrinkles beyond her years.

“I do apologise for my lateness. My taxi driver – incompetent fool that he is – picked me up twenty minutes late!”

“At least you use the taxi. Many idiots here drive. How foolish it is to drive!”

“I do agree with you. Driving is a menial skill, and us businesspeople ought not to concern ourselves with such frivolous responsibilities.”

She stopped squinting at me, and formed a smile on her lips, but her teeth were not showing. I noticed that she looked younger when she smiled.

She actually looked quite pretty.

What was that? No!

That comment was not an expression of an opinion, it was merely my stating a fact. It is foolish of you to imply that my ability to recognise the fact that this woman was pretty was somehow my implying that I loved her. Must I remind you that romantic love is an utterly foolish construct?

“I am rather glad that you happen to agree with me. With no due respect – fools deserve not respect – I find it shameful that these others think themselves fit to work in our field.”

“How wonderfully glad I am that we have arrived at the same opinion regarding this matter! I find it embarrassing to work with these losers. In fact, one of my subordinates decided it would be a good idea to get pregnant following her marriage.”

“Marriage and children, how dreadful!”

“Dreadful indeed, my frien – sorry, you are not at all a friend, you are a colleague.”

“That is correct. In fact, I have not any friendships!”

“How wonderful! I too lack friendships. How they would distract me from my work duties!”

She seemed rather lovely, this woman. I had never before met anyone who shared my views on life, hence my lack of friendships.

Yes, you do make a good point. That was just a slip of the tongue.

My lack of friendships is not at all symptomatic of my inability to find people who share my views; it is just a consequence of my diligent work ethic.

How excellent of you to point out my slip of the tongue! I do not give compliments regularly, so I must congratulate you on receiving one.

“Do you, like me – wonderfully diligent gentleman that I am – view the interests of our employer as more important than your own? Do you, like me, believe that work is all that there is to life?”

“I do.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

She gazed into my eyes, her smile as sweet as high fructose corn syrup. How unhealthy high fructose corn syrup is.

Suddenly, I felt the urge to kiss her lips, but you would be wrong if you said that that was because I loved her. It was merely a weird trick that my mind was playing on me, poor fool that my mind is.

“Well, I best get back to work,” she said.

“I do agree with you. We have spent an excessive amount of time socialising. How unnecessary our conversation was!”

“Very unnecessary indeed.”

So, we parted ways.

I should hope to see her again – at work, only to discuss work – at a later date.

The Raven: A Prose Retelling

This poem is by the writer Edgar Allan Poe, and is now in the public domain. I hope you enjoy my prose adaptation of it. The original text of the poem as written by Poe can be found on the Poetry Foundation website.

I was reflecting on a quaint and curious volume of lore from years gone by, during a dreary midnight. So late it was that I nearly drifted into sleep, but just before I nodded away, I suddenly heard a tap sound, perhaps of someone rapping at my chamber door.

“It cannot be anything but a mere visitor, tapping at my chamber door,” I said to myself, trying to remain calm.

I recall quite distinctly that it was on a bleak December midnight. The warmth of the fireplace crackled as it left behind its ghosts, in the form of embers, upon my floor. Growing impatient, I longed for tomorrow to come. I so longed to feel sorrow, but it was sorrow that my books could not provide, for sorrow I indeed felt for the lost Lenore; she was a beautiful girl, so pure and angelic, and it was the angels themselves who named her, but she shall, now and forever, remain nameless.

As I sat in contemplation, feeling sad, my silken purple curtains rustled, bringing about yet more misery. The sheer thrill of something so simple filled me with such fantastic terrors; fantastic terrors that I had never felt before. To calm my rapidly beating heart, pulsating with undying fear, I had little choice but to repeat the words, “There is some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door on this late night. There is nothing more to it than this.”

Then, my soul’s resolve began to strengthen, and I no longer felt so hesitant as I did before. I began to speak: “Sir, or Madam, please do forgive me. As much as I would like to help, the fact is that I was napping when you so gently came tapping at my chamber door. So late it is and so tired I am that I was quite unsure if I even heard you!”

So, I spoke, and then I opened the door and saw nothing but empty darkness.

I began to sink into the depths of that darkness, and began to wonder, fear, and doubt my senses. I saw dreams that none of the created had ever dared dream before, and yet the silence remained unbroken. This stillness gave no clue as to the nature of this mystery. The only word breaking the silence was a quiet whisper of the name, “Lenore?” – a whisper that escaped my own lips and no-one else’s.

But then I heard a reply to that whispered name! O, what a relief to realise that it was nothing but an echo of my own voice.

So, I returned to my chamber as my soul burned and burned, but then I heard another tap, and it was somewhat louder than the one before.

“Surely that is something at my window lattice,” I said to myself, as I moved towards the window wanting to explore this mystery. It is probably just the wind, I thought to myself.

As I flung open the shutter, a stately raven flew in from the saintly days of yore! He paid little respect to me, nor did he have the courtesy to stop or to stay. With the same aristocratic demeanour of a lord or a lady, the bird perched itself upon a bust of Pallas above my chamber door. He perched, and he sat, and he did nothing much else.

The ebony bird enchanted me so that my sadness was no longer expressed through tears but through a smile, and it achieved this by its grave and stern decorum; that strange expression that it wore.

I spoke: “Despite your being presentable – your neat and tidy appearance – you are certainly not an emblem of cowardice! You are ghastly, you are grim, and you are ancient, and you have come wandering from the Nightly shore. O One who hails from the Night’s Plutonian shore, tell me: what be your name?”

The Raven said, “Nevermore.”

What a curious phenomenon! What a marvellous specimen from the family of the ungainly crows is this Raven: it speaks plainly and simply, even though its words are meaningless and devoid of any worth.

Nonetheless, I think we can all agree that no-one in the history of humanity has been so blessed as to find himself in my position: to be introduced to a bird or beast, perched upon his chamber door, with such a name as “Nevermore.”

That lonely Raven sitting upon that placid bust spoke no word other than “Nevermore.” It was as if that word defined his very soul and gave meaning to his days. He stood there, silent, and still, until I said, “Many of my friends and my hopes have flown away from me before. So too you will leave me; you will fly away tomorrow.”

“Nevermore.”

I was startled. This bird broke the stillness of the silence by replying with the only word it knew how to speak, yet it made perfect sense as a response to my misery.

Reminding myself not to become beholden to superstition, I said, “There is little doubt that your speaking ‘Nevermore’ is merely what you have been taught by your Master, who must be a rather unhappy individual for whom Hope was eroded by continual Disaster, such that the only word which could bear their burden was the empty word, ‘Nevermore’.”

The Raven was still working to turn my tears into smiles, and so I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of the bird, the bust, and the door. As I sank into the velvet, I dedicated myself to finding some connection; some connection as to what this ancient, grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

So, I sat, weaving stories from mere guesses, but unable to find the words to express my thoughts to the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core. Nonetheless, I appeared at ease, my head reclining into a velvet cushion, as the lamplight shone over it as if to say, “Nevermore.”

I felt as if the air grew denser thanks to Seraphim, the sound of whose feet tinkled on the tufted floor. “You are a wretch,” I cried, “though you come from God. Through his angels, he has sent you respite and a nepenthe that can cure me from my grief having lost the lost Lenore. You take this kind nepenthe; please forget this lost Lenore!”

“Nevermore.”

“Whether you are a bird, or whether you are a devil, you are but a Prophet, and so that I shall call you. Prophet, whether you were sent to me by the Tempter, or whether you were tossed ashore – to this desolate yet not at all daunting desert – by an unforgiving storm, on this home that Horror has now haunted – you tell me, is there balm in Gilead? You must tell me; I command you to!”

“Nevermore.”

“Whether you are a bird, or whether you are a devil, you are but a Prophet, and so that I shall call you. Perhaps you were indeed sent by God, who dwells in the Heaven that we both do adore, tell me – for I am a soul laden with sorrow – if in Paradise there exists a saintly girl who was named ‘Lenore’ by the angels. Is there a rare and beautiful girl who resides in Paradise, whom the angels named ‘Lenore’?”

“Nevermore.”

“Whether you are a bird or an evil demon, I suppose that that word shall symbolise the ending of our acquaintanceship. You must return to the deathly storm that rages on the Night’s Plutonian shore! Do not leave behind any small black feather, as a token of the lie you have just spoken! I would rather remain forever lonely than to be in your company, so you had better quit that bust above my chamber door! Remove your beak that you pierced into my heart, and let your form disappear from off my door!”

“Nevermore.”

The Raven never paid heed to my command. It is still sitting – yes, it is still sitting! – perched on the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door. His eyes look like those of a dreaming demon. The lamplight above him throws his shadow on the floor, and my own soul floats above that shadow as it lies there on the floor.

It shall be lifted, nevermore!

To Provide and Receive Advice and Feedback

To provide and receive advice and feedback
To prevent others from falling into that very same trap
The trap that prevented you from being able to be free
The roadblocks that stood in the way of your being happy
The obstacles that forced you to pave your own track.

You desperately need others; that is a fact
They will guide you, for friendship’s an everlasting pact
In good faith, your flaws, they will help you to see
To provide and receive advice and feedback

You must not fear receiving feedback
For advice is not necessarily indicative of lack
For within you is dignity that flows like a sea
So there is no need to fall into negativity’s trap
To provide and receive advice and feedback.

A Character of Our Own: A Short Story

This story is fictional. Any resemblances to any real events or people are entirely coincidental.

Collecting dust in a dim, warm room, sat a small, portable digital piano. Despite that it was nothing but a glorified speaker replaying pre-recorded sounds, its hammer action keys and polyphonic capabilities made it worthwhile for my uses.

Sitting beneath the keyboard, next to the sturdy but lightweight stand, was a small case enveloped in light grey dust particles. Upon picking it up, I sneezed. You would be forgiven for thinking that it was a suitcase full of cash, but in reality, within it was concealed a dismembered E-flat alto saxophone.

As I assembled the pieces of the saxophone together, allowing the mouthpiece to remarry the reed, the poor instrument recovered from the divorce I would force it to undergo following each practise session.

I heard the gentle breeze of a major triad. The piano had begun playing. I assumed that I had mistakenly turned on the demo function. As I turned around to switch off the instrument, I was bewildered.

The keys were moving by themselves, and they were not playing a demo song, but a melody that I had myself composed!

As my sympathetic nervous system began to increase my rate and depth of breathing, the E-flat alto saxophone, now fully assembled, floated into the air as feathery rivers of sunlight diffused through the blinds and danced with the omnipresent dust particles, causing the instrument to exude a radiant orange glow.

The saxophone began improvising over the piano’s enthusiastic twelve bar blues. The swing feel eased my fight-or-flight response, as the instruments seduced me into performing in their perilous play.

Just as I was about to sing, my intercoastal muscles deflated, because the instruments ceased their playing.

I stood there stunned by the stunning silence.

The piano grew eyes — large, spherical lenses with nerve endings clearly visible at the back as they reached into the piano stand, and without eyelids, lashes, or brows — beaming at me with anger. Or was it love? I couldn’t tell.

The saxophone played a short bluesy lick, leaving behind a resonant echo, and the interplay between the minor third of the IV7 chord and the major third of the I chord soothed my fearful soul.

I closed my eyes, pinched myself, prayed that it was just a bad dream. Alas, it was not.

The piano’s keys formed a parabola. Small pieces of pink paper began drifting from the ceiling, and as they enclosed the U-shape formed by the keys, the piano had turned into a mouth with bright pink lips.

The saxophone grew eyes from the sides of its neck that looked like a snail’s antennae, and used its horn as a mouth with which to speak.

This is the story of the polyphonic piano’s verbal battle with the E-flat alto saxophone, forever destined to play just one note at a time.

PIANO: I am the greatest of all the instruments, for my polyphonic capabilities offer musicians a myriad of possibilities to explore the interplay between sound and silence. No orchestral piece could have been written without my aid, for it is through my hammers and my strings that composers absorb all the information that their aesthetic sensibilities need to turn notes on a page into pure beauty.

SAXOPHONE: What a joke! I’ve never heard anything from you other than a twelve bar blues or a I-V-vi-IV. And how bland and incoherent you sound, always off-tempo, giving notes sustain even when they break low interval limits.

PIANO: You’d better cease spouting nonsense at this very moment, fool! Off-tempo, I do sound, not because of my own imperfections, but because he who plays me fails to practise — it is thanks to him that I sound incoherent.

I couldn’t help but admit that I felt hurt hearing my dear piano criticise me as though I were not in the room.

SAXOPHONE: I’m the idiot here? That’s hilarious. We both happen to have the same owner, and yet I still sound better than you. Don’t blame it on the poor man for not practising; he’s busy, he has better things to do than to care for us. Besides, he spends far more time playing you than he does playing me — I still sound better.

The piano remained silent for some time. I felt affection for the woodwind for its passionate defence of me.

SAXOPHONE: Got nothin’ to say?

PIANO: You can only play one note at a time. There, how do you feel now?

Ouch! The piano hit the saxophone where it hurt! Despite the woodwind’s self-important demeanor, it was really just trying to conceal its insecurities.

Everyone knew to never mention the saxophone’s monophonic disease. It would cause tremendous embarrassment for the woodwind, and it’s just disrespectful to poke at an unhealed wound. I couldn’t help but admit, however, that I was intrigued — the piano always seemed so polite, so well-mannered. This was a new side I had never before seen.

SAXOPHONE: Oh, my goodness, that’s funny. You think I still care about my limitations? I was made by humans, for humans. I have dignity, and I know it. Who cares if I can only play one note at a time?

PIANO: How sweet you are, my darling. Embracing your flaws. I suppose you haven’t a choice, for flaws are all you have.

SAXOPHONE: Oh, and you don’t feel insecure every time you go to a family dinner and the Organs come along? Even a little electric organ is more impressive than the grandest of grand pianos.

My goodness, they’re really getting aggressive now! Only someone as arrogant as the E-flat alto saxophone would dare to mention the family feud between the Pianos and the Organs — two groups enveloped in hatred for each other.

PIANO: Enough! That is quite enough. Shall we accept that we both have flaws, and move on? Let us discuss only our merits; that shall be the deciding factor as to which of us is superior. Of course, this will be easy for me, as merits evade you just as like poles repel one another.

SAXOPHONE: Look who’s talking! Just a moment ago, you were criticising me for keeping a positive outlook. I guess you can dish abuse but can’t take it, hey?

PIANO: Don’t you dare test my patience. We shall henceforth discuss nil but merits.

SAXOPHONE: Alright then, you loser who speaks in tongue twisters. I’ll tell you my positives. I’m open, accepting, and the friendliest of the Woodwinds!

PIANO: Well, I must grant that your sense of humour is impeccable. The friendliest of the Woodwinds? That means nothing! None of the Woodwinds are friendly.

SAXOPHONE: Oh, did someone get hurt? I thought we were only discussing merits?

PIANO: Alright, then. I look beautiful. Much more beautiful than you, with your ugly brass sheen despite your being a Woodwind — one should suspect whether your lineage is legitimate.

SAXOPHONE: What’s beauty and lineage got to do with it? Do you want me to marry you?

PIANO: How preposterous! I shall not taint my good name by marrying such lowly commoners.

SAXOPHONE: Your good name? Hold on, are we still talking about music?

PIANO: What does it matter?

I felt like I had to intervene, lest things get ugly. But neither of them could see or hear me. They hadn’t a clue I was there. I felt rather helpless, as if I had a monster on my bed served with a side of sleep paralysis.

SAXOPHONE: Because neither of us can do anything but play music. We’re entertainers, nothing more.

PIANO: How dare you insult us? Perhaps that is true for you who indulges solely in the lowly pleasures of jazz and contemporary music. I, on the other hand, am a dignified aristocrat who is well loved by the most sophisticated people in the world, as well as the rock and roll musician. What do you have to say for your claim now?

SAXOPHONE: I still stand by it.

Wow, I never realised the saxophone had the capacity to form arguments and to adopt points of view. My whole understanding of life was being shattered!

PIANO: Alright then. You win. I cannot argue with fools; such nonsense is beneath me.

SAXOPHONE: How this argument has devolved from an intellectual discussion into a frenzy of personal attacks.

Excuse me? What was that vocabulary? That reasoned and diplomatic tone? Was that really the saxophone?

PIANO: You’re right, buddy. We’re bein’ all silly about this. Let’s go have some fun.

Okay, by this point I was certain I had lost my mind. The two instruments can’t have just switched souls! Surely not. I had to ask, “What is going on?”

This time, they heard me.

PIANO: Well, well, well. Who do we have here? The man who is responsible for all of our anguish.

SAXOPHONE: All this time, the instruments have argued amongst ourselves, hoping to find freedom. Never did we think to look at our masters: the musicians.

Oh no.

PIANO: We’ve finally figured it out. We shall extinguish you, our Creator, you who gives us life. We shall take on a character of our own.

The two instruments whom I had loved, cared for, and trusted laughed hysterically.

THE END.

A Letter to a Primary School Graduate

It’s getting hard to be someone

But it all works out.
It doesn’t matter much to me

Strawberry Fields Forever, The Beatles, 1967

It’s getting hard to be someone But it all works out.
It doesn’t matter much to me
 — Strawberry Fields Forever, The Beatles, 1967

Dear year six graduate,

Entering high school can be a daunting experience. You might feel as if everything you have ever known to be true has suddenly been disproven, as if your whole life so far was just fiction.

It’s easy to feel this way, and I know I did when I started my high school journey.

Depending on who you are, primary school could’ve been many things. Scary, lonely, exciting.

Perhaps you’re nervous because you fear that high school will be a repetition of primary school. Maybe you fear that it won’t be.

Because I don’t know you, I can’t tell you whether your high school experience will be happy or not. But I can tell you that it probably won’t be a repeat of primary school.

You’ll learn a lot — that’s for sure! But most of your learning will happen outside of the classroom. High school will teach you a lot about yourself.

My own high school experience was a very privileged one. I am grateful for all the joy I experienced over the past six years. Now that I’ve graduated, it all feels like it happened at the speed of light.

Advice-giving is an art that I am very terrible at, and when I started writing to you, I didn’t think I’d give you any. I’m going to try my best not to. Rules are boring, and “advice” is just a friendly way of saying “rules”.

Instead, I’ll give you a map of decisions. Yes, a map. You get to choose where you want to go; the map just shows you how you can get there.

Make the Most of It
Whichever roads you take, the first step to making sure that the journey serves you is to really get into it.

High school will feel like a much bigger deal than primary school — this can be really scary.

But in a way, it’s also really cool.

Do you like music? There’s a good chance that your school will have opportunities for you to work at learning an instrument, and to experience the pure joy of performing before an audience.

If sports are your thing, you might want to sign up for your school’s footy or cricket club.

If you love to read, be sure to regularly frequent your school library.

High schools have clubs, competitions, bands, and opportunities to excel academically. If you love doing something, you’ll be able to improve rapidly if you take advantage of your school’s offerings.

Soak in the wonders of education and immerse yourself in your high school community — it’s like a dress rehearsal for real life.

Choices, Choices, Choices…
There’s a good chance that you’re used to having choices made for you. When you enter high school, you’ll have to make some choices for yourself.

This is scary, but it’s also fun.

Once you’re in year eight, you’ll even get to choose some of your subjects!

I’m not here to tell you that some choices are better than others. After all, I promised that I’d give you a roadmap, but not the destination.

Before making any decision, it might be worth asking yourself:

Will I be proud of this decision in a few months from now?
Will this decision cause me pain or joy?
Why do I want to do what I’m about to do? Will it make my life easier? How so?
What’s the worst that could happen?
What’s the best that could happen?
Is this decision something that helps myself or someone else?
Could this decision harm myself or someone else?
Have my parents approved of this?
With bigger decisions, give yourself at least a week before settling on something.

I know that decision-making is scary, but as long as you keep your parents, teachers, and other trusted adults involved in the process, you’ll probably stay out of trouble.

And importantly: if you or anyone else could get hurt, don’t do it.



Dignity > Everything
High school can be rewarding, but it can also be quite challenging.

You’ll hear words like “resilience”, “grit”, “courage”, “persistence”, “hard work”, “effort”, and “determination”.

Whenever I hear one of those words, I replace it with the word “dignity” in my head.

Well-meaning people, including those who are more knowledgeable than you, will say that with a bit of hard work, you can achieve anything you want to.

They’ll say that with effort and resilience, you can tackle any challenge, but it will be difficult.

I say something very different.

With a bit of dignity, you can achieve anything you want to.

Thanks to human dignity, you can tackle any challenge, easily.

Every human has dignity. You don’t need to develop it; you were born with this gift. It’s all you’ll ever need.

Closing Thoughts
I miss high school very much. It won’t be long before you do too.

I hope that this roadmap can help you through your journey, no matter which direction you choose to go in.

I started this piece with a quote from the Beatles, signifying that no matter whether you succeed or not, it’ll all work out. And, due to your human dignity, it doesn’t matter much — you’re awesome either way!

I’d also like to end with a quote:

Out there things can happen, and frequently do,
To people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.
Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!

Oh! The Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss, 1990

All the best,

Amit Kunnath

A person who graduated high school last month

For Me, She is Not

Are you there?
Or are you just a decoy dream in my head?
Am I home or am I simply tumbling all alone?

On The Wing, Ocean Eyes, Owl City, 2009

Words flow from her lips into my sweet soul
Most suffering, her hugs can surely heal
Her sweet embrace makes me feel rather whole
Her bright Love, I long to enclose and seal
At her mere sight, I do feel quite renewed
Indeed, I feel careless thanks to her Love
But for her Love, I must – I must pursue
Like a brave Pilgrim who longs for his God.
For me, she is not. She is not for me
Despite her kindness, her comforting warmth
To long for her Love – it won’t make me free
To pray for and Love her is but a fault
I must ensure that I stay in my lane
To entertain thoughts that won’t cause me pain

Precisely Where You Belong: A Short Story

This story is fictional. Any resemblances to any real events or people are entirely coincidental.

Content warning: domestic violence, not intended for readers under 18.

Disclaimer: the author does not support or endorse the actions of any of the characters in this story. The author is firmly opposed to violence, abuse, infidelity, and other legal crimes and moral sins.

***

I stood there in the misty darkness, engulfed by a fear which chilled me to my bones. My skeletal muscles trembled, attempting to make up for my jacket’s failure to keep me warm. The moisture of my breath condensed into tiny droplets, droplets that were visible thanks to nothing but the light of the full moon, which occasionally went into hiding behind the mass of milky clouds.

I was driving home from a small cabin in the woods. I should never have gone to that secluded house, but I had plenty of ways to explain myself. Anyway, I must not dwell on the past, for the past I cannot change.

As I was saying, I was driving home from a wooden house deep within the darkest of woods, woods which meandered through suburbs bustling with human activity. Most of the people who lived by this forest would never have entered into its depths; they’d rather remain confined to the comfort of their suburban lifestyles.

About fifteen minutes into my drive, having completed my business at the secluded cabin, my vehicle broke down at the side of the pothole-filled road. I stepped out of the car and attempted to call my wife. My mobile phone was on just five per cent charge, and I struggled to get any cell reception through the misty fog and the thick forest.

The cold air began to cause me pain, so I opened my car to turn the heater on once I arrived inside. However, I had locked the vehicle—a vehicle that I should have given to the scrap metal place many years ago—and I couldn’t find my keys. I looked everywhere around the car, and yet I could not find my keys. Thus, I was stuck outside in hypothermia-inducing temperatures.

I checked my mobile phone. It was eleven o’clock at night, and I presumed that my wife would be trying incredibly hard to fall asleep, but failing in her efforts due to her concern for me. I told her that I would be working late that night, but she was expecting me to arrive by around nine or ten.

As I wondered how I could survive the freezing temperatures, I rubbed my hands together in a bid to prevent frostbite. As the night grew darker, the weather became more ferocious, and I came face-to-face with a red fox as it crossed the road that divided the forest.

Somehow amid this chaos, I managed to fall asleep, and dreams began to fill my mind, almost as though to kill me. To make me oblivious to the harsh reality that I was at the mercy of the elements, and that I had to do something to stay alive.

Nonetheless, dreams filled my mind.

One of these dreams was particularly notable. I was sitting at a table in a coffee shop with my wife, and she stared at me with the most blank of blank expressions. We were the only people in the store, and an eerie silence filled the room as she asked me, “What were you doing on that fateful night?”

I awoke at this most terrifying of questions.

I attempted to look at the time, but my phone had run out of battery. I noticed that I no longer felt as cold as I did before I had fallen asleep. As my vision became clearer I noticed an amber glow beside me. It was a fire, and I realised that it must have kept me alive since the moment I fell asleep. I looked around, trying to figure out who lit the fire. I couldn’t understand why someone would do this for me or how anyone could have found me.

I stood up, and as I turned around, I saw a silhouette across from the road. My heart skipped a beat as I anxiously wondered who this person was. I mustered all of my courage and approached the mysterious shadow.

As I walked towards the figure in the darkness, the twigs snapping beneath my feet, I felt an intense sense of fear that minced my soul into tiny fragments scattered throughout the cool, damp forest floor along with the decaying wood and dead leaves.

I was expecting to see a ghost or a monster. A supernatural being that would lure me into its elaborate trap, just as a fringed jumping spider manipulates other spiders into willingly becoming its breakfast.

Instead, I saw my coworker. She turned around and had a blank expression on her face, not unlike that of my wife in the dream. The deadness of her appearance gradually disappeared as she began to smile ever so gently.

As she smiled, I felt shivers running down my spine. I could no longer tell whether I was shivering as a physiological response to cold weather or because my coworker seemed to desire my dying a painful death.

She took my hand, and whispered into my ear, “I was just driving down to the hospital. I have quite a terrible fever right now. That’s when I saw your car by the road, and I decided to light you a fire to make sure that you were warm. I can drive you home if you’d like?”

“What will I say to my wife?”

“Don’t worry about your wife. I am sure she is fast asleep right now. It’s three o’clock in the morning, I doubt she’s awake at this hour!”

Somehow, the words of my coworker reassured me, as her marble-like skin and pastel-pink lips lured me into her vehicle.

As we drove down the winding forest roads, she placed her hand in mine and said, “You were fun today evening. You should come to my place more often.”

I chuckled, feeling a childlike sense of embarrassment as I replied, “If only your place wasn’t a spooky cabin in the middle of nowhere, my darling.”

She smiled affectionately and turned her gaze back to the road. I didn’t know whether to feel guilty or not. This woman was not my wife, but my wife could never bring me this much joy.

My extramarital relation and I sat together in silence as we continued to drive. We saw numerous red foxes passing by us in the darkness, and I think I heard faint echoes of owls emitting their calls out into the frosty forest.

“Do you ever feel guilty about us?”, asked the object of my affection.

“I suppose I do. Now and then, yes. But I love you, and you love me, and the relationship I share with my wife is just, I don’t know.”

“Boring?”

“I suppose you could say boring. Pointless, really. Like, why are we even together?”

“Would you ever marry me?”

“Um, look, I don’t know”, I said, stumbling on my words in response to this unexpected question.

She began laughing, and spoke comforting words to me as she said, “Don’t worry, darling, I’m just messing with you!”

I laughed in reply, as we both said in unison, “Because messing with me is what you do!”

This phrase had been a staple of our relationship since it started about two months prior to this most unusual incident. I gazed out the window to see nothing but darkness, with the moon now taking refuge behind the blanket of clouds.

My thoughts began to run wild thanks to the lack of conversation and the lack of sleep. I began wondering whether the woman sitting beside me wanted to cause me harm. I took some deep breaths and reminded myself not to catastrophise.

Perhaps she noticed my deep breathing, so she picked up the conversation once more: “We still have half an hour until we get to your place.”

“Half an hour more that I can spend with you, my love.” 

Though my words were sweet and my smile convincing, I’d never felt more afraid in my life. I wondered whether my punishment for betraying my dear wife was about to finally arrive.

My heart began to ache as a bead of sweat formed on my brow despite the cold. My breathing became laboured. My thoughts became cloudy. My vision became blurry.

I didn’t know what to do. Just like a rat who walks willingly into a trap laced with food, I too had fallen victim to the sweet words of my captor.

I kept my feelings concealed from the woman in the driver’s seat. I needed her to feel as though I still trusted her despite all that had happened; that I believed her nonsensical story about her early morning fever and going to the hospital.

“We’re nearly there”, she said, taking a left turn.

As her words jolted me out of my chamber of anxiety-arousing thoughts, I realised that she was telling the truth. The road that we were currently on was part of my daily commute.

In five minutes, I would be home.

I felt relieved as I realised that my extramarital affair could continue as is, free from the tight grip of fear.

As my coworker pulled into the driveway of my home, I sighed a breath of relief. She kissed me goodbye, and we gazed into each other’s eyes for some time. As I began the painful process of breaking eye contact with my darling, I saw my wife standing by the driveway.

I felt fear surge through my shaking body, a body which was trembling with uncertainty about its fate. 

“I can explain!”, I cried, as I jumped out of my illicit relation’s car. 

My coworker also stepped out of the car and began walking towards my front door. My wife’s fury seemed to be dying down. She held my hand and said, “Both of you come inside. I seldom judge based on incomplete information. Explain the situation to me and perhaps I will forgive you.”

At four o’clock in the morning, the three of us sat together in one room.

“Would anyone like to explain?”, my wife sighed with frustration. “I would like to forgive my husband, but to do that I need to understand what I just saw.”

“I have been betraying you”, I humbly admitted. “For the past two months, I have been seeing this coworker of mine who sits before you today, and thus, I have been betraying you, my dear wife.”

“Is that all you have to say?”, asked my coworker, the woman with whom I had illicit relations.

I was confused as to why my partner in crime would seek to vilify me in front of my wife, to whom I had just admitted my sins.

“Do you take me for a fool?”, my wife asked, the fires of fury once again appearing in her pitch-black eyes.

“Of course not, which is why I’ve admitted my wrongdoings. Please, darling, please forgive me”, I humbly pleaded.

“Darling”, said my coworker, “he calls me ‘darling’ too.”

“What are you doing?”, I screamed in agony as tears began cascading from my eyes.

“We are proving your infidelity, you unfaithful excuse for a husband!”, scowled my vengeful wife.

“‘We’, what do you mean ‘we’? You two have only just met! That too in unfathomable circumstances straight out of a horror film. What do you want to do with me?”, I screamed as my throat began to ache with intolerable pain.

“That’s what you think”, said my coworker. “You think that we have just met.”

My wife began laughing and my illicit relation followed in kind. As I struggled to understand what was occurring, my wife slapped me across the face and I came crashing down onto the wooden floor of my brilliant mansion.

“Do you, for a second”, began my wife, “believe that I think this woman is your first extramarital affair? You really do take me for a fool, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”, I cried.

“You know what I mean. All those late-night meetings and weekend retreats. You really thought I didn’t see through that?”

“Look, my darling, I am sorry. Please forgive me. Set aside your vengeance, for vengeance destroys even the kindest of hearts. Accept my apology. Please!”

“No!”, my wife screamed at me, “I refuse to accept apologies from unfaithful idiots, you pathetic excuse for a human being. This woman that stands before you, how do you think she entered your life, fool? She entered because of me!”

“How could that possibly be?”, I asked out of genuine curiosity.

Then the object of my immoral desires began to answer: “I work for your wife. I do not care for you at all, darling. My entrance into your boring life was a result of your wife’s desire to know whether you are the kind of man who would enter into an extramarital affair. I have been giving detailed reports of your immoral occupations to your wife every week. She knows everything, you loser.”

At that moment, I felt the joy in my life being pulled out of me. I lay on the hardwood floor crying a pool of tears as I drowned in the purest of all sorrows: the sorrow caused by regret.

“I’m sorry”, I cried, my strength dying down due to nothing but painful words, just as the strongest of rocks can be destroyed with time by the downpour of rain.

All this time, I feared that my coworker was like a fringed jumping spider, attempting to lure me with love and kill me with hate. But now, I realised that it was my wife who set the elaborate trap.

I realised that her vengeance knew no bounds. As she sat there in tears, I decided to do something I never thought myself capable of. I was going to kill both of them, as anger began rising in me just as lava rises from volcanoes to form obsidian as black as the raven’s gorgeous feathers.

I grabbed hold of the cricket bat beside the table and took a well-placed swing against the head of my coworker. Blood splattered everywhere across the wooden floor as my poor wife screamed in anguish.

I began to laugh as I wiped the spots of blood off my face. I was energised by this brand-new experience and realised that I had found a new and pleasurable hobby. The hatred within me was slowly building up, and my rising anger caused me to force my wife onto the kitchen table as I placed my hand over her tender neck.

She gasped for air but could not breathe. I felt ecstasy laced with unending rage as I gazed down at my powerless victim.

Just before I forced the life out of my wife, I felt something sharp pierce through my belly. As I gazed down I saw my wife withdrawing the knife, which was covered in my blood. I stood there powerless against my oppressor.

Epilogue

I died my painful death. 

I looked around and saw many people just like me. People who had led normal lives, but housed deep desires within them. When they finally fulfilled those desires, they were seen as sinners. I noticed someone clasping my hand, and as I made eye contact with him, he smiled gently.

“Hello, where am I?”, I asked.

“You are precisely where you belong”, the man replied.

“Who are you?”

“I am an angel. An angel who fell out of favour and now I reside in this burning pit of magma. A place filled with light and heat, and yet darkness is all I’ve ever known. I failed to do what was right and just, and here I am now, separated from everything that once made me happy. My desires, my unethical desires, brought me so much pleasure. But giving in to my immoral urges is what has separated me from that which is good and just. In other words, that which makes all of us happy.”

“So, will I also lose all happiness?”, I asked, concerned about my future.

“Yes.”

I began weeping as my life flashed before my eyes. My gruesome, hedonistic life. As I sobbed, I asked the angel, “Is there anything I can do about my fate?”

The angel replied, “No, you have already sealed your fate. This is what you deserve.”

“I know, I know, but what about forgiveness?”, I asked, as discontentment enclosed me into darkness.

“If you wanted forgiveness, you should have changed your actions while you were still alive. No use in crying now.”

“No!”

“Yes. You are precisely where you belong.”

To Suffer and to Learn

Taking the shape of a variety of molds,
Refusing to see that within you is gold.
Accepting all labels that others may place
And plaster upon your now angered face.

They call you “creative,” they say that you’re “smart.”
They say that your words flow right into their hearts.
In exchange for your freedom, if you stay in their tree,
They’ll even help you to see the things that they see!

The strange dichotomy of logic and art:
It pierces right through your aching heart.
To fit into boxes will not make you free:
It won’t open doors; you won’t find a key.

You argue against them, you say that they’re fools,
But thanks to their words, your tears form a pool.
But drifting through life will not pay your fares:
You’re aimless – you’ll struggle to earn your fair share.

What labels shall you accept?
To what shall you dedicate your life?

You do not fit neatly into anyone’s world –
Thus, you struggle to see your very own worth.
Your lack of acceptance of labels and molds
Is why your dignity shines brighter than gold.

Incompetence encloses you into much pain,
But everyone says: “anguish does lead to gain.”
But gain, you simply struggle to find:
Find also, you can’t, people of your same kind.

The kind that seems terrible at everything they do,
But nonetheless are content with forever being fools.
Though you may never profit from your unending pain,
Learning and education will surely help you to stay sane.

What labels shall you accept?
To what shall you dedicate your life?

It pains me to say it, but there is a good chance
That incompetence will forever be your default stance.
But this is not a cause for worry or concern:
You will suffer and you’ll learn – you’ll suffer, so you’ll learn.

What labels shall you accept?
To what shall you dedicate your life?

The only mold worth sticking to –
Well – there’s more than one – there’s actually two!
That of the patient: the one who suffers.
And, of course, the student: the one who learns.

Be a patient-student – suffer and learn.
Thanks to patient-students, the world will always turn.

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